They Call it Luck by Betty Jan. 19, 2004

My story begins in the Fall of 1979. I was 32 married and the mother of a 6 year old and a 4 year old. Bathing one day I noticed the mole under my arm on my breast had gotten bigger and itchy. I told my husband and he urged me to have it looked at. I told him I had a gyn. Appointment in a month and I would show the Dr. I was not greatly concerned because it was just a mole I had had for many years.

When I saw gyn. doctor he only said some people have these things removed because it would be rubbing against clothing. He did not make an appointment for me, he told me it was up to me. I knew I couldn't come home and tell my husband that so I went downstairs in the medical building and made an appointment with a surgeon.

When I went to the surgeon he saw it and said it didn't look good and he would remove it and send it to the lab. Being young and in 1979 not knowing anything about this disease I went home unconcerned. The next week I dropped my children off at their Grandparents house and went to have the stitches removed. He told me to come into his office after I dressed. The doctor proceeded to tell me I would need further surgery and a number of test and it was Melanoma. That was a word I had never heard before that day. I heard the last syllable (oma) then I said (Cancer?) he said yes. I got up and said I do not have time to have tests and surgery and Thanksgiving was only weeks away. I left his office in a daze.

Upon arriving at my in-laws and seeing my children watching cartoons, I told my mother-in-law, and I cried.

Carl, my husband met us there for supper. I told him he, like me, had never heard of MM. We drove home in separate cars and I cried. When we arrived home we put the boys to bed and talked. He knew I blanked everything out, so he called the doctor in the morning and asked if we could come in. So we went in and the doctor explained it to us. The next day I was at the hospital for the first round of scans and x-rays. On Monday I was admitted for test and surgery.

Luckily it had not spread to any organs. I did though have a positive node.

I told people why I had surgery and everyone would say "oh skin cancer" and they all new someone that had it. No one had actually heard of MM.

I went to the library to read all and anything about it. Half the books only had a paragraph and "NO KNOWN CURE". Boy that was encouraging to a young mother of boys.

When I saw the doctor again he referred me to a local Oncologist. My husband and I saw him, he told me there was really nothing that was hopeful for a Stage III MM, but he knew of a clinical trial going on with one doctor at Mass General. He made an appointment for us to see him.

Upon seeing the doctor at MGH he wasn't sure if I qualified but they would confer. He also said I would be chosen not by need but by lottery for the protocol. One procedure was immuno therapy BCG, the other was a combo of chemo. DTIC and BCG.

On the day before Christmas my ticket was pulled and I was chosen for the combination of chemo and BCG. My husband was happy. I on the other hand didn't want chemo. These treatments would go on for 2 years.

It was a tough 2 years with two young boys that needed me. I started thinking of people that could replace me and be a good mother to the boys. Then I prayed and prayed to let me get them through school. Over the years I saw people that I got to know through treatments die. I never had a reoccurrence, but every little ache and pain and bump and sickness had doctors sending me for test. I was only told that I must be cured now about 10 years ago.

All doctors say is "boy you were lucky". The clinical trial was unsuccessful, not enough people lived. I never heard from the people at MGH for even a follow up It was like they didn't care about one "LUCKY" MM patient.

Over the years I would see my Dad die at the age of 62 of another cancer, my Mom die at the age of 72 from another cancer. Now recently my brother who was only 58 died of yet another type of cancer.

I hear of survivors of all different cancers uniting. I feel that I am a lone survivor of 24 years. Is it luck? Is there a reason I have not understood of for me being here? It can't be explained but I do feel lucky.