A New Zealand Christmas Story
Jan. 10, 2003

I was 15 when I was first diagnosed with skin cancer. I remember crying in the skins specialists room thinking that my time was up and that I had that dreaded disease "cancer". I was told it was a basal cell carcinoma and that I should be OK.. Little did I realise at the time that it would be one of many zappings and cuts to my body to remove anything from suspicious moles to carcinomas. It always seemed to be around Christmas time in a hot New Zealand summer.

At 25 I had just spent three years in the Middle East. My daughter was about to be born and to avoid the Gulf War fled home to New Zealand which seemed to be the best place to be. I had led a healthy life style and for some reason there was not one cancer growing on my skin during the whole three years.
Raising a daughter alone was difficult but I wouldn't have had it any other way. Because of the financial pressures I put up with some horrible bosses and extreme stress. I knew that my health wasn't good. I could never get to sleep and I worried alot. I visited my skin specialist as usual around Christmas time as I had noticed an itchy growth on a mole on my leg. When he saw it, he instantly said "I think that you have a melanoma: I was shocked. Here I was 35 years old with melanoma. I worried for a whole week until the path results came back which turned out to be a "melanoma in situ". Oh the joy, it was melanoma but I should be OK.
It wasn't until a ten months later, that I started to to get numbness in my leg. It always seemed to ache. I thought it must have been a netball injury but it just never seemed to heal. The job went from bad to worse and I quit. The leg was still bothering me and when I started a new job I went to my doctor as there was now a lump in my groin. I thought I might have a hernia or something. She said it wasn't an injury or a hernia but a swollen gland. I joked to her that it was my melanoma leg and I remember her going a deathly white. She said it might be nothing but she ordered blood tests and a biopsy. In my mind it was still a netball injury and the gland was just reacting to it. When I went to see the hospital registrar for my biopsy, he really hacked at it with the needle. A week later I had my results. The gland was littered with melanoma cells. I cried like I was 15 years old all over again. No one had told me that it was going to spread. My parents were devastated. My daughter didn't understand what was going on. Surgery and CT scans were immediately booked.
It was December 2001. The surgeon removed 10 lymph nodes from my groin. It was a hot summer. The stockings were tight and 6 weeks of the drain sticking out of my stomach was uncomfortable. I got the results of my pathological report on Christmas eve. There was only one node with melanoma. Oh the joy. There was still hope. Lymphoedema set in after a few months and it would be 5 months before I received radiation treatment. Radiation treatment was over a large area of my stomach and leg. It would mean that I could not have any more children and I I felt tired for a long time. But for some reason I felt this incredible relief. I wasn't stressed anymore. No bad jobs or bosses. I could be home enjoying my daughter. It was hard financially but not as hard as I thought it was going to be. Even though there were no guarantees for me, I was happy that I was still alive. There was only one thing that I had wanted for Christmas and that was for my daughter to meet her father. Unfortunately I canceled the flight because of the dangers of going to the middle east and impending war. I refuse to let this disease beat me. I want to have this wish.
Its now gone past Christmas 2002 without a skin cancer in sight. My CT scan was clear. I am very happy to be here writing this story. I am going to survive this disease until at least my 95th Christmas and I see my daughter grow up. I am determined that I am going to get my Christmas wish as soon as it is safe to travel. Here's to a happy 2003.